Mirror Images
by CinnamonKitty
Summary: Edward is contending with his despair over Bella's death...but is she really gone?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the rights to "Twilight".

"**Mirror Images: Chapter One"**

Edward often saw the shadow of Her face, the hint of her warm, brown eyes and soft curly hair, in the passing, hazy silhouettes of people outside his house. Sometimes he sat on the porch, just watching, spending hours piecing together these shadows that brought him back to Her. When she first was… gone, all he wanted was to be… gone, too, but somehow even the shadowed hints of her brought him comfort and allowed him the joy of remembering their brief time together. Today marked ten years since She had been gone.

It was raining softly, the water weighing down the limbs of the many evergreen oaks in his yard. Edward heard each passing drop with clarity and precision; the sky emptying itself expressed perfectly what he wished he could do…cry, especially on this day. He moved his old wicker chair to the middle of the overgrown yard, away from the dry covered porch, tentatively relishing the rain steadily drenching his body, imagining it was his tears and appreciating its growing intensity as the hours passed. His despair for Her rivaled such a display. He thanked Heaven for the storm, such a gift to express his longing and loss.

His solitude was almost absolute in this quiet part of Georgia, the old architecture and history of Brunswick prevalent across the small town, inspiring recollections of his boyhood. His home overlooked the coast and the continuous sound of the waves crashing on the shore and fresh sea air surrounded him. It brought him peace. She would have loved it. They had talked about living in such a place, spending golden moments in a place of sand and water, savoring soft twilights of heady warmth and silence.

After She was gone, he couldn't stay with the family anymore. He was being eaten alive, hearing their thoughts and despair, feeling their pain, their loss, when his own was so unending and bottomless. After years of wandering from state to state, country to country, he finally found and settled on this home.

During this time, the family couldn't take it anymore either. His "parents", Carlisle and Esme, had watched in sadness as gradually Emmett and Rosalie left for a "European tour" that extended from weeks to subsequent years and Alice and Jasper left to try to help him. They accompanied him through his many years of wandering, traveling with him from place to place. Jasper's ability to sense his feelings kept the three of them tethered tightly, as Jasper knew all too well how close to the edge Edward really was. In the recent years, they finally felt able to leave him for periods of time, assured of his despair and his reluctant, yet firm choice to…remain.

The rain finally stopped and Edward realized it was twilight. It was a fitting ending for such an anniversary. He grimly smiled in acknowledgment. He closed his eyes and imagined it was another time, pretending for a moment that She was inside waiting for him…her hands adeptly cooking dinner and her face beaming as she listened to music while she worked….having the simple domestic pleasures they were denied. He smiled in joy of such an image and briefly escaping in time and lost dreams.

The sound of a phone ringing finally reached his ears, though, bringing him back to the present; he had the feeling it had been part of the background noise for quite some time.

Edward rushed into the house, grabbing the kitchen phone and a hand-towel to wipe his face.

"Hello?"

"Edward, oh, Edward!" Alice's shrieking voice abruptly captured his attention.

"Alice, what's going on? What's wrong? Are you alright? Where are you?" Of his whole family, his "sister" Alice was closest to him. At the strange sound of excitement and pain in her voice, he could barely contain himself.

"Edward, it's alright, I'm sorry, it's just I've been calling you for hours. We're on our way, we should be there already, if it weren't for the damn sunlight…"

"Alice, please just tell me already…"  
"I guess I don't know how to tell you, Edward…maybe I shouldn't have called. As I said, we're on our way."

"Alice, you are alright? Is Jasper alright?" Edward sought assurance again as her flustered and confused conversation shook him up.

"Yes, I'm sorry…I just wanted to hear your voice….Something happened today, Edward. "

At her pause, he expressed, "I am relieved you are alright, however it obviously was something significant to elicit such a response. Would you like to talk about it now?"

"Edward, I guess I can't wait. I wanted to, but I was just so excited…for you. I kind of met someone today…" Alice stopped talking again, mumbling to herself so quietly Edward couldn't make out the words.

"Just go slow, Alice, I know it's hard, but I'm listening. We have all the time in the world to talk." He joked cryptically, disconcerted yet again.

"Oh, Edward, I don't know how to tell you this…but I found….Bella…." All time stopped. The phone dropped, and he sank to the floor in a daze, all the while Alice was yelling, "Edward, Edward, come back, please come back…"

Edward focused himself, struggling to rein in his feelings and contain the flood doors of hope, profound joy, and what he was sure would be inevitable sadness and loss, all over again.

"Alice, what do you mean? How is this possible? You know what happened. You know. She's gone, you know she's gone." His voice broke and rose with each punctuated word, trying to calm the strong surge of pain, remembrance, fleeing hope, and cutting acceptance, just in considering such a possibility.

"I don't know how it's possible, Edward, but I saw her, and Jasper did too. We were at the mall sitting outside the bookshop. I had this strong sense that I needed to look up…and right at that moment I saw her face through the window. Before I knew it, though, she was gone. I was so shocked, I didn't even see where she went. I ran to follow her, searched the whole store and began frantically running through the mall, all the while Jasper is rushing after me, trying to calm me down and figure out what was happening. Edward, she was older, not a girl anymore, but I still know it was her. I thought I was imagining things, I really did, but then…" She paused.

"What, Alice, please tell me….don't stop talking" He implored.

"I smelled her, Edward, I smelled Bella, just as I remembered, strawberries and freesia, with a new smell… of citrus."

"Alice, Alice….please… you just have to turn around, stay there, find her, keep looking, don't come here. I'll come to you. Don't lose her. Please go back. Don't waste time talking to me."

"Edward, we already tried, we searched for hours. I have a private investigator still searching. I just need to see you, though, I want you to see her image in my mind. I want us to figure out how we'll find her and when we do, you'll be there. I know we searched before….everywhere it seemed… but I have a good feeling. This could be your second chance."

**A/N: If you can, leave me a review and let me know what you think. Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the rights to "Twilight".

"**Mirror Images: Chapter Two"**

It had been a couple of hours since Alice's phone call and Edward was reeling, each moment felt like eternity, his impatience all consuming. Having "lived" a long life thus far as a vampire, seeing the many changes in the world, very few things rattled him. His father Carlisle long ago had insisted to him that when significant change happens for a vampire, it is lasting. Such a statement had proven true time and again as he quickly learned when he first met Bella, loved her, and then lost her. She was a part of him now, no matter the time and distance it had been, he could not forget. It was beyond simple devotion, she was his life, and nothing had meaning without her; such deep sentiments propelled his many considerations of ending his…existence…over these years after she was gone.

As he waited, his memories were filtering in and out…

_Edward first met Bella when attending the University of Oregon, Eugene. She had stumbled into him in a hallway in the music building, looking for her choral class, just as he was exiting his music theory lecture seminar. Their eyes met and he just knew she was The One. He could feel the incredible bloodlust overwhelming him in its intense reaction to her, but all he could see was her soft brown eyes and gentle smile. He wasn't even sure how long they gazed fixedly at one another, his hands trembling upon her arms as he braced her after her near fall…watching in wonder as her right hand traveled slowly up her body and his, to cup his cheek and whisper a soft "thank you." She staggered away, then, having finally sighted her room, stealing one last, tentative glance at Edward over her shoulder. _

_Edward stayed frozen in shock and gratitude for this moment. To the outside observer such a moment might not seem significant, but Edward felt the sheer connection between them…time stopped, it was as if he had waited all his life…existence…for such a moment, for such a soul-mate. As he started to consider what actually just occurred, his bloodlust hit him full force, and he quickly dipped outside to clear his senses, escaping to the surrounding trees outside the music building, barely monitoring that other students did not see his rapid and quick ascent up a tree trunk. He could not leave, it was all he could do to not pursue Her immediately; it was not the bloodlust he sought to claim with her, but an all-encompassing need to possess her, keep her, not let her go, after so many years of waiting. As he struggled to temper such feelings and regain his composure, he quickly and deftly sought out the mind of a fellow student, Richard, that he remembered attending her choral class. He wanted to see her, if only through Richard's eyes and he wanted to begin to distinguish her voice and thoughts. One of Edward's "gifts" as a vampire was the ability to read the minds of others, a cursed gift of sorts as he was continuously plagued with hearing the minutiae of people's thoughts. In this case, though, this is when he appreciated having such a gift._

_To his joy, Edward heard Richard's thoughts almost immediately as Bella even was in his mind's eye…he was engulfed with happiness and veneration to "hear" her sweet voice. He couldn't resist snarling in jealousy, though, as he heard Richard's swirling thoughts of interest and admiration. Bella apparently was a soprano for the group and a soloist for at least two pieces. Her voice was utterly enchanting, evoking memories and feelings from his human life and a different world and time._

_Breaking from his trance of "listening" via Richard's thoughts, Edward searched for Bella's inner voice, multiple times, and consistently came up blank. He actually could not hear her thoughts. In retrospect he realized even in their encounter he did not hear her, all he could hear was himself…the moment was so enthralling, he was spellbound with her gaze that he did not even recognize accompanying silence. Such a revelation astounded him…there was a measure of relief after so many years of people's minds besieging him…and yet what he wouldn't give to know her thoughts on their encounter, to know Her. _

_Edward recalled with some embarrassment, yet no remorse that he simply followed Bella all day, unseen, drinking in moments of her life, piecing together information about her, eagerly planning how he might see her again. It almost was as if he watched his life changing before him and savored the end of what was and anticipated the bliss that was to come, by taking such moments. He knew things would move quickly once he did encounter her face-to-face again and sought some delight in truly relishing this life-changing moment. He also knew he needed to assure himself of his resistance to the formidable bloodlust that seemed more engrossing with her. Within these moments of captivation, sheer fear struck him as well as he considered the reality that he could easily lose her. Bella was vulnerable and tender in so many ways, and seemingly unaware of the depth of the horrors this world held; her emanating gentleness a testament to her delicate and untouched spirit. At points this fear absorbed him so completely that he quivered in resisting the urge to capture her and whisk her away. Now that she was here, the thought of losing her was too painful to consider. So he followed, waited, enjoyed…and protected her, from all that was around and from himself. He knew the wait wasn't much longer, she was here and he would do all he could to keep her safe and to love her for the rest of her human life._

Edward was brought to the present by the sound of a car door slamming, the dashing of Alice through the door, and her clamoring thoughts surrounding him. He heard Jasper also exit the vehicle and upon his entry, acknowledged his quiet smile of satisfaction and comfort. Detangling himself from Alice's hug, he gently implored, "Please Alice, show me what you saw." He staggered back from the vivid images that began shifting through her brain and then he saw Her. Bella was older…small lines forming around her coffee-colored eyes (that really only a vampire could see well)…her long hair styled in layers with auburn and golden-brown colors tresses (such colors lighter and more rich than years ago). Her body showed soft, womanly curves…and her face exuded confidence and quiet observation of those around her. He closed his eyes and smiled, savoring this new memory…and through Alice's recollection, inhaled her sweet fragrance of strawberries, freesia, and…citrus.

This moment was what he had been waiting all these years for, the pain was worth it, the desperate hope…if only for this moment…to have such a sight in hand…to hold onto, once again, the precious thought of being with her, finding her….knowing she was Here.

**A/N: If you can, leave me a review and let me know what you think. Thank you!**


End file.
